The Translation of Ideas into Destiny…

The dawn of man. The first guttural sounds, trickling out past the larynx. Squeezing past a history of evolution that kept us to grunting and growling and screeching. Language. Our first tool. We never saw it coming, but boy did it change things for us later apes.

We organised, into groups, into ideals, into political systems. Into communities, and into ghettos.

One such ghetto gave birth to yours truly. One such ghetto spawned the greatest gift the planet could have hoped for: EnglishToGhetto.com. Bridging communities together, making it clear what white people were saying and what black people meant. Allowing us to trade cultures, to exchange ideas, to traverse the bounds of our charged past. In an interview granted by The Obama in 2009, he cited the gangster translator as “the single source of reference I used to appeal and communicate to ghetto communities”. We’re going to say it was a successful venture. With the aid of fist-bumps, with the flicks of wrists, and with a solitary cool personality and large large ears, did our dear leader make history. Kept a secret by the NSA’s Blackmale Disclosure Curtain up until 2011, EnglishToGhetto.com remained under the hood of the political regimen. It stayed in the shadows, spawning forth the personality quirks of our greatest hip-hop figures. Nas, Eminem, 50 cent, Busta Rhymes, Tyler the Creator, A Tribe Called Quest, Kanye West, and countless other ballers, gangsters, playa’s, hoochies, bitches, shawtys, and thugs.

There are few things you cannot ghettofy with this tool. Equivalent to the advent of agriculture, or the first sharpened chip of granite, be amazed as your messages and intentions rise far above those of your competitors. They’ll try to appeal to you with ‘sirs’ and ‘madams’ and ‘normal’ english speak. But to no avail. As you slip in the odd ‘bitch-ass’ ‘cracker’, be amazed as your conversations and messages triple in efficacy. We have had respondents in the field tell us their messages were some hundred-folds more effective in the obtainings of moneys, in the exchange of key foodstuffs and services, in getting them into lady’s panties. Oh yes, adapting this vernacular is no small undertaking, it seems almost too simple to believe. That a single click could change your life forever. Oh, but it could. And that is why it is life indeed, because miracles, the probabilistically inconceivable, scrape by and are achieved. This ebonics translator is one such miracle.

- Deedz from englishtoghetto.com

Welcome, please heed stray bullets and gang tensions…

YOYOYOYO!!

When it comes to translating, we can use the metaphor of guns.

A light, fast-fire gun has a lot of recoil. It ends up shooting a high number of bullets very quickly (Tittayys! and Pervs!), to cover as many riders of the opposite crew as possible. Only problem be, in the ghetto if there’s lots of high-rises and project buildings (eg. Bed Stuy, THE Projects), there’s gonna be a lot of peripheral spraying upwards into homie’s cribs and innocent lil niqqa’s running around trying to get their homework did are gonna get got.

This is similar to a lot of the ebonics and ghetto translators out there, high volume, high speed- but in the end, it’s all over the place. The changes from the english to the ghetto and ebonics are haphazard, and ends up illegible and frankly, non-convincing. This is not our translator.

What we’ve done here is similar to lowering the recoil- adding weight, for greater accuracy. Like with a heavier gun, a larger barrel means less recoil and faster dropping back down (thanks to gravity, for this and many things) return to the aimed position. The gun shoots somewhat slower, takes it time and may hit 5 bloods or crips dead on per clip. There aint no getting away, but you gotta pick yo targets . [If your heart didn't break just then, please go find a soul before using our translator. Gangster or no.] This is equivalent to a larger and heavier weapon- the weight is balanced around the handle to keep things more accurate for every bullet/slug/spray you fire.

That is not our translator.

Our translator fires like a mothafucking semi-automatic AA shotgun, presented here by this swagged out russian motherfucker. Doing the ebonic language, the ghetto blaster style-talk, the gangster, afro-american libel the right words to communicate with respective accuracy and convincingness. There is MAD power in every English to Ghetto ™ translate. Ebonics is its own, amazing language- impacted by violence, a sect of society that rose up from great perils of slavery and gradually moved into cities over the decades gone by. Protection was important.

The ebonic own way of speaking protected the culture from any more intrusion by squares, crooked cops, and anybody who don’t really fit in smoothly in our hood or lifestyle here. With violence, drugs, alcoholism conveniently provided by the corporate-influence armament stores, liquor stores, and crack at every corner. The ghetto version of ‘crack’ actually got, and still gets, more jail time than the exact same chemical compound in different forms that rich people could afford. Rich people who don’t live in the ghetto. PUU-LEASE I aint even frontin . So of course, police come in our hood and lock up our addicted brothahs and sistahs, with pains left to bear- in the past and present, holding out for some bright future. Who put them there? Some would say the government … To keep the people down. I say, we rose above it .

 

Follow our page, help us turn our translator into a goddamn fear-engraining drone-gun .

The Site (Englishtoghetto.com), Facebook, Twitter, all that.

***WE by no means encourage gang violence, gun use, or any forms of violence or racial slander with the use of our translator- we just sayin, there’s factors that come into play. We want you to talk the way we talk. Roll out.